I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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