just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
