Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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