Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
