If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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