When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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