Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
