Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
