apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
