blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
