You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
time to smoke my breakfast
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
