Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There are leaves in my underwear?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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