who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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