there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
