you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
