That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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