This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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