I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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