Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
