Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
