Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
