do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
