the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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