hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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