I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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