I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
