All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
