I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
