The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
