i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
