He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dicks are not precious.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
