there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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