is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Boobs speak an international language.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize