yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
