think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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