how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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