If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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