I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
