Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
