My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Randomize
