And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
