I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
