We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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