yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
