we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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