Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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