Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
