I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
