May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
