i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
