Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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