I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
